literature

three twenty a.m., or misty dawn for you

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Literature Text

    I am miles away from you, and I can’t sleep.
    I can’t think straight, either. I have been sick today and everything seems sad and strange and blown out of proportion. I know that I should be trying to rest, but instead I sit in the darkness of my room and listen to the night sounds. Cars pass by outside and cut through wind; their headlights travel across my ceiling, leaving shadows as the sound of their motors lingers in the dim lit air. I breathe and try to remember what night sounds like from your bedroom window. Ah, it comes back to me. The sound of stillness, of moonlight and the Milky Way coursing through the arteries of the sky; sleeping animals and fog creeping swiftly down the summer hill before the first light appears.
    Thinking of those things makes my body relax. I breathe again and notice my headache is gone. Sitting soberly with my legs under my quilts, I feel the winter on my hands. It isn't as if I miss your hands linking with mine; no, it’s more of a dream that I’m slowly forgetting. What did it feel like? What did it feel like to have you cupping my waist as we walked in broad daylight? What words can describe the look in your eyes when you first laid eyes on me? What words can salvage the slipping memory of sensory bliss and spiritual freedom? When can I again look into your eyes and tell you in no words that I love you like I have loved no one else before?
    You said I was different. What you don’t know is how different you are. I try to tell my friends what you’re like. Before I say five words they say, “You are completely infatuated with him.”
    “No,” I press, “you don’t understand. He is singularly the most amazing person I have met that I sometimes can’t believe he is real.” And I try not to mention you to my mother because I know that if I start listing adjectives I will not be able to stop until I have thoroughly embarrassed myself. You see, whatever I do, there is this flashing light behind me, blinking out your name. Wherever I am, there is a smirking thought beside me that makes me imagine what it would be like if you were here. And I smile at the ground in the metro because I think you’ve almost become my angel by now.
    So I am miles away from you, and I can’t sleep. At least not until I close my eyes and pull myself a bit closer to your chest. My hand on your sternum, your hand tracing mine. I glance up in the half-starlight to see your shadowed face. You missed a spot when you shaved this morning, and your eyelashes smile sleepily. I don’t say a word, but I settle into my skin, like one does on a rainy April morning.
    I am lying beside you, and I gently fall asleep.
This is one of those pieces that I actually do feel bashful about putting out. It's very honest, which makes it a little awkward. (Ah, good old love - always making us do strange things! ;)) But every time I read it over, I somehow feel better. And so I thought maybe it could make other people happy too. A little dreaming never hurt anyone :blushes:

Written Jan 17th, 2013
© 2013 - 2024 musicgypsy
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halcyonshores's avatar
This is so pure and beautiful.
Thank you for deciding to share it. :heart: